For over 30 years, I’ve worked with individuals and organizations, helping them navigate careers, handle and craft critical communication, waterproof their emotional health, and manage relationship dynamics.

Through my research and real-world observations, I’ve discovered that the reasons we speak boil down to three core motivations: attention, connection, and transaction. These reasons shape how we communicate and why we choose to engage in conversations.

To Get Attention:

At a basic level, we speak to be noticed. Whether it's to share an idea, express an emotion, or simply make our presence felt, drawing attention is often the first step in communication. We want others to acknowledge us and what matters to us.

To Build Connection:

Communication is a tool for building relationships. We speak to be understood, appreciated, and to create bonds. Over the years, I’ve seen how meaningful conversations strengthen trust and foster deeper connections, whether in personal or professional settings.

To Transact:

The most strategic reason we speak is to transact. Whether we’re negotiating a deal, securing opportunities, or managing expectations, we communicate to prove our value and get things done. In these moments, words become the currency that drives success.

These three motivations—attention, connection, and transaction—guide how we speak and influence the outcomes of our interactions. Understanding them can transform how we approach communication, helping us speak with purpose and clarity in any situation.

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